Alright, let’s talk about puttin’ in them fancy wooden floors, the kind they call LVL dancin’ pine or somethin’. Sounds all highfalutin, but it ain’t rocket science, ya hear? Just gotta take it step by step, like makin’ a good pot o’ stew. Don’t go rushin’ it, or you’ll end up with a mess bigger than a hog wallow.

First thing’s first, you gotta get your space ready. That means cleanin’ it up, real good. Sweep out all the dirt and dust bunnies. If there’s old carpet or somethin’, rip that sucker up. You want a clean, flat surface to work with. Clean and level is the name of the game, just like makin’ a good biscuit. If your floor’s all bumpy like a washboard, you gotta fix that. Might need some of that levelin’ stuff, the kinda stuff they use to make things even. I dunno what it’s called, but the fella at the store will know.

Now, you gotta measure your room. Get yourself a tape measure, the kind that pulls out. Measure the length and the width, and then go measure it again, just to be sure. It’s like measurin’ flour for a cake; you don’t wanna mess it up. Write it down on a piece of paper, so you don’t forget. Nothin’ worse than forgettin’ a measurement and havin’ to start all over again.

Next, you gotta get your wood. That LVL dancin’ pine, they say it’s good stuff. Looks pretty too, all smooth and shiny. Make sure you got enough to cover your whole floor. And get a little extra, just in case. It’s like buyin’ fabric for a quilt; you always need a little extra for mistakes.

• First, you gotta clean the floor
• Then, make sure it’s all level
• Measure the room, twice even!
• Get enough wood, and then some

Alright, now comes the part where you start puttin’ the wood down. They say you gotta start in a corner. Makes sense, I guess. Everything starts in a corner, like a good garden. Put down the first piece, nice and slow. Make sure it’s straight. You can use a level, or just eyeball it if you’re good at that kinda thing. I can eyeball most things, been doin’ it for years.

Then you gotta connect the next piece, and the next, and the next. They click together, these fancy floors, like puzzle pieces. Make sure they fit tight, no gaps. You don’t want drafts comin’ up through the floor, no sir. Use a hammer and a little block of wood to tap ’em in place, if they’re bein’ stubborn. But don’t go bangin’ on ’em too hard, or you’ll mess ’em up.

Keep goin’ like that, row by row, until the whole floor is covered. It’s like plantin’ corn, one row at a time. Take your time, don’t rush. It’s better to do it slow and right than fast and wrong. And if you get tired, take a break. Go have a glass of sweet tea, sit on the porch for a spell. The floor ain’t goin’ nowhere.

When you get to the edges of the room, you gotta cut the wood to fit. Use a saw, the kinda one they use for cuttin’ wood. Be careful now, saws are sharp. Measure twice, cut once, that’s what my old pappy used to say. And if you make a mistake, don’t worry about it. Nobody’s perfect. Just try again. And if it’s really messed up, well, that’s what rugs are for, ain’t it?

Once all the wood is down, you gotta put on the trim, that little piece of wood that goes around the edges. It finishes it off nice, makes it look all fancy. Nail it in place, but be careful not to hit your fingers. I’ve done that before, and it ain’t fun.

So there you have it, how to put in a LVL dancin’ pine floor. It ain’t so hard, once you get the hang of it. Just takes a little patience and a little elbow grease. And when you’re done, you’ll have a floor that’s purtier than a speckled hen, and strong enough to last a lifetime. Just like a good marriage, if you take care of it right.

Now, go on and get to work. And don’t forget to sweep up when you’re done. A clean house is a happy house, that’s what I always say. And if you get stuck, don’t be afraid to ask for help. There’s always someone who knows more than you do, even if they don’t look like it.

Tags: [LVL flooring, wood flooring, pine flooring, floor installation, DIY flooring, home improvement, flooring tips, assemble flooring]