Alright, let’s talk about this here floor thing, the one they use for them volleyball folks. You know, the fancy kind, like what that fella, LVL, put together. Yeah, the wooden kind. Not that cement stuff, that’s hard on the knees, I tell ya.

First off, gotta figure out how much wood you need. That’s the measurin’ part. Ain’t no room ever straight, y’know? Always gotta jig and jag a bit. So, you get your tape measure, the kind that pulls out, not that fancy laser thingamajig, and you start figurin’. Length, width, the whole shebang. Better get a little extra, just in case. Cuttin’ it too short, well, that’s just a waste and you gotta start over, ain’t nobody got time for that.

• Measure the length.
• Measure the width.
• Add some extra, just in case.

Now, this ain’t just any ol’ wood, mind you. This is what they call “engineered” wood. Sounds fancy, but it just means it’s made to be strong and not warp all over the place like some of that cheap stuff. And it’s got these tongue and groove things, like puzzle pieces, so they fit together nice and tight. Tongue and groove, that’s the key. Makes it real snug and less likely to have them little gaps where dirt and bugs like to hide.

Before you even start layin’ down the wood, gotta make sure the floor underneath is clean. Sweep it, vacuum it, heck, even wash it if you gotta. Don’t want no rocks or dirt under there, makes the floor all bumpy and uneven, and nobody wants a bumpy floor. You get a splinter in your foot from a bumpy floor, and then you really gotta a problem. Then you have to go to the doctor and that cost a lot of money and I don’t want to pay for that.

Then comes the part where you decide how you’re gonna stick this wood down. There’s a few ways, see. You can nail it down, if you got a wood floor underneath. That’s the old-fashioned way, and it works good. But you gotta be careful not to split the wood. Nailing it down, that’s how my grandpa used to do it. But these young folk, they got their own ways. They use glue and stuff. Makes a mess I tell ya, but they say it holds better.

Or, you can glue it down, if you got a concrete floor. That’s messier, but it holds tight. Just make sure you use the right kind of glue, the stuff that’s made for stickin’ wood to concrete. Don’t go usin’ that school glue, it won’t hold nothin’. There was a time my nephew used school glue on his science project, and it fell apart right away. Don’t be like my nephew.

And then there’s this “floating floor” way. That’s where you don’t stick it down at all, you just let it sit there, all snug and tight together. That’s the easiest way, and it works good if you got a flat floor. But if your floor’s all bumpy, well, then you’re gonna have problems. Floating floors are good for when you don’t want to make a big mess. But I don’t know much about it.

Now, when you’re layin’ down the wood, you gotta use these little spacer things. They’re like little pieces of plastic that you stick between the boards to make sure you got the right amount of space. Wood likes to move around a bit, y’see, with the heat and the cold. So, you gotta give it some room to breathe. If you don’t, it’ll buckle and warp, and then you’re in a whole heap of trouble. Spacers are important, don’t forget ‘em. Like putting on your socks before your shoes, you gotta have them spacers.

And you gotta stagger the boards, too. Don’t want all the joints in the same place, that makes it weak. So, you start one row with a full board, then the next row with a half board, and so on. It’s like bricklayin’, kinda. Just gotta make sure it’s all strong and sturdy. Staggering makes it stronger, so it will last longer, just like building a fence post.

Once you got all the wood laid down, you gotta put down somethin’ on the edges, to cover up the gaps. They call it trim, or baseboard, or somethin’ like that. It just makes it look nice and finished. And it keeps the bugs from crawlin’ up under there. Trim keeps the bugs out, and makes it all fancy.

So, that’s how you put down one of them wooden volleyball floors, like what that LVL fella did. It ain’t rocket science, but you gotta pay attention to what you’re doin’. And you gotta have the right tools. And you gotta have a little bit of patience. And lots of elbow grease, of course. You don’t want to call a repairman every week do you? That costs money. You gotta learn to do things right, and do it right the first time.