Alright, let’s talk about puttin’ down them fancy dancin’ floors, the kind they call LVL. Sounds all highfalutin, but it ain’t nothin’ us common folk can’t handle. We gonna make a floor so smooth, you could slide across it in your socks like butter on a hot skillet. This here guide is for makin’ a wooden floor, the kind that’s good for dancin’ or just plain walkin’ on.

First off, you gotta get yourself some wood. Not just any wood, mind you. We need that plywood stuff, the kind they say is strong. They call it LVL dancing plywood, sounds fancy, but it’s just wood, like I said. Now, you gotta choose how thick you want it. If you got folks livin’ downstairs and you don’t wanna hear ‘em complainin’ about your tappin’ feet, get the thicker stuff, like maybe two fingers thick. If it ain’t a big deal, the thinner one’s alright too, maybe one finger thick or so. You can find this at them big stores, the ones that sell all sorts of house fixin’ things.

• Thick plywood (about 2 cm): Good for keepin’ the noise down.
• Thin plywood (about 1.3 cm): Works if noise ain’t a problem.

Next thing, you gotta make sure your floor, the one you’re puttin’ this new one on top of, is clean. I mean, real clean. Sweep it good, maybe even give it a scrub with some soap and water. You don’t want no dirt or nothin’ gettin’ stuck under your new floor, makes it all bumpy and uneven, like a bad road. And make sure it’s flat too. If it ain’t, you gotta fix that first. Maybe slap some more wood down to even it out, or somethin’. You gotta have a good subfloor, that’s what they call it.

Now comes the part where you lay down the wood. You gotta measure things out, make sure it all fits right. Don’t just go slappin’ wood down willy-nilly. Measure twice, cut once, that’s what my old man used to say. You’ll need some tools too. A saw, for cuttin’ the wood. A hammer, for bangin’ in the nails. And them nails, gotta get the right kind, the ones that hold tight. And maybe some glue too, to make it extra strong. Folks now use all sorts of assembling wooden flooring contraptions, but I stick to what I know works.

When you start puttin’ the plywood down, make sure it’s snug, real snug. You don’t want no gaps. And stagger them pieces, don’t line ‘em all up the same way. It makes the floor stronger that way. Like brick layin’, you know? You just keep goin’, piece by piece, nailin’ and gluin’ till the whole floor is covered.

Now, some folks like to put somethin’ on top of the plywood, like them vinyl planks. They say it makes it prettier and easier to clean. That’s fine and dandy, but this here guide is about the wood part, the plywood assembling. If you wanna put somethin’ on top, you go right ahead, but that’s a whole ‘nother story. You gotta make sure the planks are acclimated to the room’s temperature, same as the plywood. Lay them down real careful and it’ll be lookin’ good.

After you’re done layin’ down the wood, you gotta make sure it’s smooth. Run your hand over it. If you feel any rough spots, you gotta sand ‘em down. You don’t want no splinters gettin’ in your feet, especially if you’re gonna be dancin’ on it. Get yourself some sandpaper, the rough kind at first, then the smoother kind to finish it off. Installing this floor ain’t rocket science, just takes some elbow grease. And be patient. It ain’t somethin’ you can rush, unless you wanna end up with a crooked floor, looking like a drunken mule laid it down.

And there you have it. A good, solid wooden floor, ready for dancin’ or whatever you wanna do on it. It ain’t so hard, see? Just takes a little bit of know-how and a whole lotta hard work. Remember, keep it clean, keep it flat, and keep it strong. And don’t forget to measure twice, cut once. That’s the most important part. You do that, and you’ll have a floor that’ll last you a good long time. And if folks ask you how you did it, just tell ‘em you learned it from a wise old woman, who knew a thing or two about layin’ down wood. They don’t need to know you learned it from this here article I just told ya. A good wooden flooring will last a lifetime if you take care of it, just like everything else in life.