Alright, alright, settle down, y’all. Let’s talk about this here… whatchamacallit… LVL dancin’ plywood floorin’, the kind you can move around. Yeah, that’s it. Fancy name for somethin’ that just needs to be good and sturdy under your feet, am I right?

Now, I ain’t no fancy carpenter or nothin’, but I know a thing or two about solid ground. You don’t want no wobbly floor when you’re tryin’ to do the twist, or whatever them youngsters are doin’ these days. So, listen up, ’cause this here floorin’ needs to be strong, like them old oak trees, but light enough for even a scrawny fella like my grandson to carry around.

What’s this LVL stuff anyway? Well, they tell me it’s somethin’ called “Laminated Veneer Lumber.” Sounds all highfalutin, don’t it? But from what I gather, it’s just wood, all glued together tight, like them pancakes I make on Sunday mornings. Only these pancakes are stronger, way stronger. And that’s what you want, see? You want somethin’ that ain’t gonna buckle when your Aunt Bessie starts doin’ her “special” jig. You know the one, where she kinda hops and shimmies all at once? Yeah, that one.

So, you’re thinkin’ about gettin’ yourself one of these here portable dance floors, huh? Maybe you got a church basement that needs a little sprucin’ up for them potlucks and dances. Or maybe you got a barn, and you want to clear out the hay and have a good ol’ fashioned barn dance. Whatever the reason, you need somethin’ that’s gonna last. You don’t want to be fixin’ it every other week, that’s for sure.

Now, they say you can rent these floors, but why go and do that when you can just make your own? It ain’t rocket science, you know. You get yourself some good plywood, the LVL kind if you want it to be extra strong. Then you cut it into squares, or whatever shapes you fancy. Big enough to dance on, but small enough to carry, that’s the ticket.

• First, you gotta measure out the space where you want this here floor to go. Don’t just eyeball it, now. Get yourself a tape measure and do it right.
• Then, you gotta figure out how much plywood you need. More is better than less, that’s what I always say.
• Next, you gotta cut that plywood. If you got a saw, that’s good. If not, maybe you can borrow one from your neighbor. Just make sure you wear them safety glasses, you don’t want no sawdust in your eyes.
• And then, you gotta put it all together. You can use screws or nails, whatever you got handy. Just make sure it’s good and solid. You don’t want no creaky floor.

And there you have it! A portable dancin’ floor, made with your own two hands. Ain’t nothin’ to it, really. Just a little bit of elbow grease and some good ol’ common sense. And if you’re feelin’ extra fancy, you can even paint it, or stain it, or whatever you want to do. Make it your own, that’s what I say.

But hold on a minute, let’s not forget about the “portable” part. This ain’t no permanent fixture, see? You gotta be able to move it around. So, you might want to think about how you’re gonna do that. Maybe you can put some handles on the sides, or maybe you can just make it in smaller sections that are easy to carry. It’s up to you. Just use your noodle, you’ll figure it out.

Why plywood, you ask? Well, ’cause it’s strong and it don’t cost an arm and a leg. You don’t want to spend a fortune on somethin’ that folks are just gonna stomp all over, do ya? And plywood’s pretty easy to work with, even for a greenhorn like you. You don’t need no fancy tools or nothin’, just a little bit of patience and a whole lotta determination.

Now, I’ve seen some folks try to use other stuff for their dance floors, like them particle board things. But let me tell you, that stuff just ain’t gonna hold up. It’ll crumble and fall apart, and then you’ll be right back where you started. So, stick with plywood, that’s my advice. It’s the good stuff, the real McCoy.

And don’t forget about keepin’ it clean. After all them dances, you’re gonna have spills and dirt and who knows what else all over that floor. So, get yourself a good broom and a mop, and keep it clean. A clean floor is a happy floor, and happy floors make for happy dancers. And that’s what it’s all about, ain’t it? Just havin’ a good time, with good folks, on a good, solid floor.

So, there you have it. Everything you need to know about gettin’ yourself a LVL dancin’ plywood portable wooden floorin’. Now go on, get to work. And don’t forget to invite me to your next dance!