Well, let me tell ya somethin’ about this here floorin’ stuff, the kind they call “laminate.” Folks been talkin’ about it, sayin’ it’s good, sayin’ it’s cheap. I don’t know much about fancy words, but I know what I like and what lasts.

Now, they got this wood, they call it “larch.” Sounds like somethin’ a bird would do, but they say it’s tough. They use it for floorin’, even though it ain’t hard like some other woods. They say it can handle water, which is good, ’cause spills happen, ya know? Kids are clumsy, and sometimes, well, your old bones just give out and you drop your tea.

I heard tell of this “Pergo” stuff. Sounds like somethin’ you put in your hair, but no, it’s floorin’ too. They got all kinds, hardwood, laminate, even that fancy lookin’ vinyl stuff. They say it’s strong and pretty. Pretty is nice, but strong is better, I reckon. Can’t be havin’ a floor that gives way when you’re walkin’ on it.

Now, some folks got these places, big buildin’s, where they play games. Basketball, volleyball, all sorts of things. They use a special floorin’ there, somethin’ called “poly somethin’.” Sounds complicated, but I guess it’s gotta be tough to handle all that jumpin’ and runnin’. But we ain’t talkin’ about them big places, we’re talkin’ ’bout floors for regular folks like you and me.

• They got this “water-resistant” laminate, they say. Means it can handle a little water, I guess.
• Then they got the “waterproof” kind. That sounds even better, huh? For places like the bathroom or the kitchen, where things get wet.

You go to the store, they got all sorts of laminate. So many choices, it makes your head spin. They got these letters, A and C, that tell you how tough it is. The higher the letters, the tougher it is, I figure. And they got different sizes and colors too. Enough to make you dizzy.

I heard tell that Lowe’s, that big store, they got a lot of this laminate. Good stuff, they say. You can find somethin’ for every room in your house, from the kitchen to the bedroom, even the basement, if you got one of them damp, dark places.

Now, when you’re pickin’ out a floor, you gotta think about what you need. You got kids? You got pets? You clumsy like me? If you got a lot of water spillin’, you want somethin’ waterproof. If you just want somethin’ that looks nice and won’t break the bank, regular laminate might be just fine. Just make sure it’s tough enough to handle your life, that’s what I say.

And don’t be fooled by all them fancy words and sales pitches. Just ask yourself, “Will this floor last? Will it be easy to clean? And will it look decent enough for when the preacher comes to visit?” That’s all that matters, I reckon.

So, there you have it. A little bit of common sense about this here laminate floorin’. It ain’t rocket science, just gotta use your head and pick somethin’ that’ll work for you. And remember, strong is better than pretty, any day of the week.