Well, let me tell ya, when it comes to puttin’ down them floors, whether it’s for thumpin’ a volleyball or just plain walkin’, it ain’t as simple as throwin’ dirt on the ground, no sirree. Them fancy folks, they call it “laminate” and “wooden flooring,” but to me, it’s just gotta be sturdy and last a good long while.

Now, for volleyball, you gotta have somethin’ with a bit of give, ya know? Like them fellas say, “shock-absorbin’.” Can’t be playin’ no volleyball on hard concrete, that’ll wreck your knees faster than a mule kick! They got this rubbery stuff, they say it’s “vulcanized,” sounds like somethin’ from a science book, but it works real good. Makes the jumpin’ and divin’ a bit easier on the old bones. It’s gotta be strong though, gotta hold up to all that jumpin’ and runnin’.

And when it comes to that wood floorin’, the kind you put in your house, well, that’s a whole different story. You gotta make sure it’s snug as a bug in a rug on that bottom floor, no air gaps. Air gaps, they say, dry out the wood faster than a hot summer wind. And if you got them heatin’ pipes in the floor, gotta make sure they’re pumpin’ out the warmth, at least as warm as a spring day, they say 18 degrees, whatever that means in real feelin’.

• First, gotta make sure the ground is flat, real flat, like a pancake.
• Then, gotta put down that underlay stuff, makes it soft and quiet like walkin’ on clouds, well, almost.
• Next comes the wood, gotta fit it together tight, like a puzzle, no gaps, no wobbles.
• And lastly, gotta make sure it’s all sealed up, protected from spills and dirt, you know, like puttin’ a lid on a jar.

Whether you’re doin’ it yourself or gettin’ one of them “engineer assemblin’” fellas to do it, it’s all about the same thing: makin’ it last. Ain’t no point in puttin’ down a floor if it’s gonna buckle and crack in a year. Gotta do it right the first time, that’s what I always say. It’s like buildin’ a fence, gotta be strong, gotta withstand the weather, gotta last.

And speakin’ of lastin’, I heard tell of them folks who can fix up your old floors without all that dust and mess. No sandin’, they say. Sounds like magic to me, but if it works, it works. Saves you a whole lot of trouble, that’s for sure. ‘Cause cleanin’ up after all that sandin’, well, that’s a chore and a half.

If you’re lookin’ to get a floor put in, you gotta find someone you trust, someone who knows what they’re doin’. Don’t just go with the first fella who comes along. Ask around, see who your neighbors used, see who’s got a good reputation.

And them other floors, for basketball or tennis, they’re kinda the same deal. Gotta be strong, gotta be smooth, gotta let you run and jump without fallin’ on your face. They can even fix up your old court, make it look brand new again. It’s all about havin’ the right tools and knowin’ what you’re doin’. And that, my friends, is the long and short of it.