Alright, let’s talk about this here floor, this… laminate dancing hard maple assembled wooden flooring, that’s what the young’uns call it. Sounds fancy, but to me, it’s just a floor, gotta keep it clean, that’s all.

First off, it ain’t hard to keep clean, ya know? Nothin’ like them old dirt floors we used to have. This stuff, it’s smooth, shiny-like. Easy to wipe down. I just take my broom, the soft one, not that stiff one from the yard, and sweep it, sweep it good, every day if I can. Gets all the dirt and crumbs and stuff off.

You gotta watch out for them scratchy things though. Tell them young’uns and your company, “Take off them pointy shoes!” High heels, they call ’em. They’ll scratch up the floor faster than a chicken pecks corn. And if you got kids, well, good luck! Just gotta keep after ’em, tell ’em to be careful. But what can you do, kids will be kids. Just gotta sweep more, I guess.

Sometimes, a sweepin’ ain’t enough. Then I take a damp cloth, just a little bit wet, mind you, and wipe it down. Not soakin’ wet, just damp. They say if it ain’t dry in 15 seconds, it’s too wet. So, I make sure it dries quick. You don’t want the floor to get all puffy and messed up. And for sure never ever use something sharp to scrape up any stubborn gunk, my sister in law Mary tried that and the floor was wrecked.

Now, some folks, they got all these fancy cleaners. Sprays and whatnot. Me? I just use a little bit of soap and water sometimes, if it’s really dirty. But mostly, just the damp cloth does the trick. They do sell stuff for it special like, some kind of “laminate cleaning agent”, they call it but I say a little soapy water and a good scrub will do the trick too you dont need to get fancy you know.

• Sweep often, like, everyday if you can. Keeps the dirt and grit from scratchin’ it up.
• Wipe it down with a damp cloth. Not too wet, just damp.
• Tell folks to take off them pointy shoes. You don’t want scratches.
• Clean up spills right away. Don’t let nothin’ sit and stain.
• Every couple weeks, give it a good cleanin’ with soap and water. Or that fancy cleaner stuff, if you got it.

And every now and then, maybe every six months or so, they say you gotta do a real deep clean. Like, with a machine. A floor cleanin’ machine, they call it. But I ain’t never done that. Too much trouble, if you ask me. Just keepin’ it swept and wiped is good enough for me. My floors stay pretty lookin’ and its not like anyone important is comin’ over anyhow.

This here floor, it’s supposed to be tough, you know? They say it can take a beatin’. But I still try to take care of it. ‘Cause a good floor, well, it lasts a long time. And it makes the whole place look nicer. Even if it’s just me seein’ it, I like things tidy.

So, that’s about it. Nothin’ too complicated. Just keep it clean, sweep it, wipe it, and don’t let them pointy shoes scratch it up. And it’ll last ya a good long while, this…laminate dancing hard maple assembled wooden flooring, or whatever they call it.

It really is easy to take care of though. Even easier than that old linoleum we used to have. Now that stuff, if you spilled anything on it, especially grape juice, it was a nightmare to clean. But this stuff, a quick wipe and it’s gone. Makes my life a whole lot easier, that’s for sure. And honestly, it looks a whole lot nicer too. Makes the whole place feel a bit fancier, even if it is just me and the cat most days.

So yeah, don’t be intimidated by this fancy name floor. It’s just a floor, and keeping it clean ain’t rocket science. Just a little bit of common sense and a little bit of elbow grease, and it’ll stay lookin’ good for years to come. And that’s all there is to it, plain and simple.