Okay, so I’ve been wanting to try out this “batten dancing” thing for a while. I saw some cool videos online, and it looked like a fun way to move and get some exercise. Plus, I had some leftover hard maple timber from a previous project. Perfect!

First, I cleared out a space in my garage. I needed enough room to swing the batten around without smashing into anything (or myself!). I moved the workbench, pushed the bikes to the side, and swept the floor to get rid of any stray screws or sawdust.

Next, I grabbed the hard maple timber. It was a pretty good length, maybe about 5 feet long, and a decent thickness. I sanded down any rough edges, just to make sure I wouldn’t get any splinters. Safety first, you know?

My First Attempt

• I held the batten in both hands, like a baseball bat.
• I tried to swing it around, mimicking some of the moves I’d seen online.
• It was… clumsy. Let’s just say I didn’t look like those graceful dancers I saw.
• I almost whacked myself in the head a couple of times.

I decided to slow things way down. Instead of trying fancy spins and twirls, I focused on basic movements. I practiced swinging the batten from side to side, getting a feel for the weight and balance. I worked on keeping my core engaged, trying to make the movements smooth and controlled.

After a while, I started to get the hang of it. I added in some simple turns and steps. It still wasn’t “dancing,” exactly, but it felt good. I was moving, I was sweating, and I wasn’t hitting myself with the batten anymore. That’s a win in my book!

I kept at it for about an hour, just experimenting with different movements. I even put on some music, which definitely helped with the rhythm. By the end, I was feeling pretty good. Tired, but good. My arms were definitely feeling it, and I could tell I’d be sore tomorrow. But it was a fun workout, and a good way to use up that leftover timber.

I’m definitely going to keep practicing. Maybe one day I’ll actually be able to do some of those cool moves I saw online. But for now, I’m happy just swinging a piece of wood around in my garage and getting a good workout. It’s a bit silly, but it’s fun, and that’s what matters, right?